Relocation

Dear Dear Jesus followers,

Everything is moving to www.NotesToJesus.com and @NotesToJesus (twitter). Keep Following Dear Jesus there.

Love,
thad

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Teevee

Dear Jesus,

There’s a whole teevee show about cupcakes. I was confused, but then I realized you must have been hungry when you let that one happen.

Love,
thad

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Legalism

Dear Jesus,

I’ll keep my notes to you under 140 characters as often as possible, but thanks for freeing me from the law of sin and twitter.

Love,
thad

Attention addiction

Dear Jesus,

Remember this morning when my two year old screamed “EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!!” and I tried to turn her off with the remote? Sorry. I got confused and mistook her for another Brett Favre story on ESPN.

Love,
thad

Country music

Dear Jesus,

Did it annoy you that Carrie Underwood got rich telling you what to do all because she’s not a very good driver?

Love,
thad

Buttheads

Dear Jesus,

You know how some people see the good in everyone, even the real buttheads? Thanks for not making me one of them.

Love,
thad

Omniscience

Dear Jesus,

Did it frustrate you knowing air conditioning would be invented, but not until after your human years? I guess even omniscience has its downsides.

Love,
thad

TGIF / TGBSG

Dear Jesus,

Do you TGIF? If so, do you think of Bob Saget every time? If so, do you TGBSG (Thank God Bob Saget’s Gone)? Yeah, me too.

Love,
thad

Inception

Dear Jesus,

As a kid I thought my life was just God dreaming. I haven’t seen Inception, but I may have written the script when I was 6.

Love,
thad

Old house angst

Dear Jesus,

I don’t feel funny today. Know why? Because WHY DID YOU LET ME BUY AN OLD HOUSE??!? That’s why.

Love,
thad

Facebook Jesus 3

Dear Jesus,

Some people don’t know what a CAPTCHA is. Not you. You know everything, even more than Al Gore. http://bit.ly/a6y8bI

Love,
thad

Facebook Jesus 2

Dear Jesus,

The facebook CAPTCHA for my last note was “repented any.” WTH? No, really. Is that you or a vampire in the facebook?

Love,
thad

Facebook Jesus

Dear Jesus:

Facebook wants me to “like” you. I’m skeptical that it’s really you, but I also can’t make myself press the X. Ugh.

Love,
thad

Disappointment

Dear Jesus,

I only have two real disappointments in life: no jet pack and the existence of TMZ. J/K. I have lots more than that.

Love,
thad

Vampires 6

Dear Jesus,

Is Grandpa Munster in heaven? Remembered I liked him. Realized the pouty ones are the problem, not the funny ones.

Love,
thad

Vampires 5

Dear Jesus,

I don’t think The Count on Sesame Street is really a vampire. I’ve never even heard him mention sucking blood. HTH.

Love,
thad

Vampires 4

Dear Jesus,

I really love Patty Griffin and Pierce Pettis. This has nothing to do with vampires. Except: thank you they aren’t vampires. That would be a real dilemma for me, and God (that’s you) knows I have enough of those already.

Love,
thad

Vampires 3

Dear Jesus,

As a kid I saw Love at First Bite. I can’t explain it. Please don’t count it against me in the vampire cleansing.

Love,
thad

Vampires 2

Dear Jesus,

About the vampires. Does the stake through the heart thing really work? I’m nonviolent, but I’d consider an exception for you.

Love,
thad

Vampires

Dear Jesus,

Enough with the vampires everywhere, right? I know you’re with me on this one. Please make them go away.

Love,
thad